Behind The Scenes Of My Itchy Life
Here are just a couple of the things I use to fight off the itch
I swear I’m allergic to the entire world. I’m allergic to pollen, grass, trees, dust, weeds, bugs, molds, animals, and the list goes on. If you can name it, there’s a good chance I’m allergic to it. As if that wasn’t enough, I am also severely allergic to soy, peanuts, and tree nuts. Additionally, I’m mildly allergic to the juice of all fruits and vegetables. For some, allergic reactions can be deadly. It causes their tongues to itch and their throats to close up. Luckily, I’ve only had one reaction like that, and I was able to quickly get to the hospital and take care of it. For the most part, my allergies attack me in a different way. My allergies result in severe atopic dermatitis, aka extremely enflamed, incredibly itchy eczema.
Eczema is my enemy, and it is always causing me pain through very dry skin, angry rashes, or scratched open raw skin. I am constantly trying to tame my skin, and I think about my skin when I wake up, when I wash my hands, when I travel, when I go to class, when I go to work, when I go out on errands, and almost every other instance of life you can come up with. After 22 years of living with eczema, I’ve gotten pretty good at making my skin look normal, however, many people have no idea what it takes to do so.
Before I learned about my allergies, my skin was truly out to get me. I remember so many sleepless nights lying in bed with my skin so itchy, it felt like someone had lit me on fire. I’d try to calm the infuriated skin by covering my itchy body with ice packs, and every morning I’d wake up with pools of melted ice water all over my bed. The use of ice packs was a second-rate solution because as soon as I fell asleep, I couldn’t control myself from scratching my screaming skin. I’d wake the next morning in piercing pain from the places on my body where I’d completely clawed off the flesh. Waiting for the raw skin to get better was the worst. I’d have to go along with my day, but throughout it all, I’d be distracted by itchiness pulsing through my raw, eczema-ridden skin.
My mom took me to a bunch of dermatologists to see if there was anything we could do about the eczema, but they always shrugged their shoulders and prescribed me steroid ointments that didn’t work that well. I figured I was destined to live an itchy life, but everything changed when one day my neighbor suggested that I get tested for allergies. I took her advice, and that’s when I had one of the biggest realizations of my life. Turns out, my skin problems have a source, and it’s because I’m allergic to SOOOOOOOOOO MANY THINGS.
My allergist immediately prescribed be allergy immunotherapy treatment. That’s when you’re given shots of allergens so your body can build up tolerance to them. I started getting three shots a week, taking 4 Zyretcs a day, and it seemed like everything was turning around!!! The itchiness and my eczema chilled wayyy out, and I thought life was all good.
After a couple years of allergy shots, my skin started reverting back to before I found out I had allergies. I’d get super intense red rashes all over my body, and they’d be so itchy I felt like bugs were constantly crawling up and down my skin. Sophomore year of college, the eczema on the back of my neck got so bad. People would gasp when they saw the raw skin back there.
It all culminated my junior year of college when I had an extreme allergic reaction to my immunotherapy shots, some food I was eating, and the fall allergies of Bloomington. I could feel myself going into anaphylactic shock, but I was alone in my apartment and too scared to jab my epipen into my leg. I didn’t know what to do so I took a Snapchat of my face and then ran to the health center. The people at the health center were so shook at the condition I was in, and they immediately gave me a shot of epinephrine and called an ambulance. The whole thing was incredibly dramatic, and I got strapped into a stretcher and taken to the hospital. My allergy reaction was so severe and not subsiding that I was given two more shots of epinephrine. A side effect of epinephrine happens to be adrenaline, so started bouncing off the walls in my hospital room (my sister Sabrina has video proof of this). I was given some other medicine, and I was told to stay overnight. However, the allergic reaction didn’t go away, so I ended up staying in the hospital for a couple days. My super sweet mom came down to Bloomington to take care of me, and with her help and some super strong steroids (s/o to Prednisone), I slowly recovered.
After the hospital scare, I got retested for allergies and found out that the things I was allergic to had grown. I got a new allergist, and she helped me figure out new ways to cope with my eczema. My skin is far from perfect, but I make do by taking copious amounts of medicine. Daily, I take 2 antihistamine tablets, Singulair, Pepcid, Flonase, and Azelastine. These meds help keep my worst flare-ups at bay, but I also have a million steroid creams and lotions that I constantly slather all over my body.
These days I’m all about my skincare routine, but sadly it’s not very glamorous. I use my lotions, steroid creams, serums, moisturizers, oils, gel face wash, toner, and eczema skin spray to keep the itchiness and the unsightliness at bay. Staying anywhere overnight means hauling along my skincare stuff, and that means I’ll never get to be the girl who travels light.
You did not ask to see a picture of the dry skin on my hand from washing my hands too much, but here it is anyway
Beyond skincare, so much of my daily routine is about placating my skin. When I wash my hands, I have to be careful to not use too much soap/water or my hands are itchy and dry for the rest of the day. I have to cook most of my own meals, and constantly look out for safe foods I can eat. I rarely wear necklaces or turtlenecks because they irritate the heck out of the eczema on my neck. When I take a shower, I have to put lotion on within 10 minutes, or my body starts burning out of dryness. I have to change my sheets weekly, and my bed and pillows are all covered in allergy cases. My purse is as heavy as a pile of rocks because I have to cart around skin lotion, lip cream, eye drops, glasses, and allergy medicine EVERYWHERE I go. It’s all a part of the eczema life.
I try to portray myself as someone with great skin, and looking at my insta feed would never guess that I have eczema issues. I’ve spent so much time being embarrassed by eczema flare-ups, and for all my people out there with severe atopic dermatitis, I FEEL YOUUUU. Rarely are our skin issues represented, and I remember how seen I felt when eczema was talked about in the book Sour Heart by Jenny Zhang and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman. Hopefully our world will soon figure out why the heck eczema exists and how to successfully make it go away.
This is my eczema story, and if you have it too, stay strong and don’t scratch!!